Imaan Jalali

Here in Southern California, we’re all practically one big clique of friends. We understand each other in ways East-Coasters can only dream. And do you know why? Because we have our own lingo and colloquialisms that are as “gnarly” as they are ergonomic. By truncating unnecessarily long words to mostly monosyllables, we make fewer facial expressions, and therefore maintain our immaculate and wrinkle-free skin. Crows feet are for losers.   If you’re not from So Cal, then you might be gnashing your teeth at the fact that, yes, we like to use “like,” “totally,” “hella,” “hecka” (for the pure-minded), “fresh,”…

Imagine a roaring heat rising through your body, up to your neckline and above. Your face, now colored with a red tint, is burning, and you can’t help but tug at your collar. But this is not an unwelcome or painful episode; it is the elusive rush of passionate attraction, an animal magnetism pushing you to overcome the inhibition of convention, and leap into the lips of your soul mate sitting across the café table. Sadly, many Southern California residents are growing cynical to the idea that they could ever find their true love, let alone be able to sustain eye…